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Garbage In — Garbage Out — We Need Good Input from Service Technicians

The work is never done until the “paperwork” is done.  Today, that paperwork is, more often than not, some information put into the computer for others to analyze.  Unfortunately, getting good information into the computer is difficult.  The service technician may not remember everything he did over the 1-10 hours that the repair took.  His spelling may not be the greatest–or his typing skills.  However, with the advent of pull down menus, the Vehicle Maintenance Reporting System (VMRS) used by North American Trucking companies, and the improved acceptance of computers, I hope things are better than these snippets of problems P and solutions S from a 1999 note that was passed around at my company.  I really don’t know if this is true, but this was said to be a military record from maintenance crews.

P Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.   S Almost replaced left inside main tire

P Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.  S Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

P #2 propeller seeping fluid.  S #2 propeller seepage normal, @ 1, #3 & #4 propellers lack normal seepage

P Something loose in cockpit. S Something tightened in cockpit

P Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.  S Evidence removed

P DME volume unbelievably loud. S Volume set to more believable level

P Dead bugs on windshield. S Live bugs on order

P Auto Pilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent. S Cannot reproduce on ground

P IFF inoperative. S IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

P Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S That’s what they’re there for

P Number three engine missing. S Engine found on right wing after brief search

P Aircraft handles funny. S Aircraft warned to straighten up, “fly right” and be serious

P Target radar hums. S Reprogrammed target radar with the words

Paul Menig, CEO, Tech-I-M