People ARE Different
The Golden Rule we all learned as children is “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Platinum is more rare and jewelry more expensive. The Platinum Rule is “Treat others the way they want to be treated.” Just one small word change and the focus changes from “you” to “they.” It changes from internally focused to externally focused. It changes from how things are delivered to how things are received.
Determining how others want to be treated sounds like trying to read someone else’s mind. It’s taken me 40 years of marriage and 6 years of dating her before that to really understand, accept, and act on what my wife wants. You might say I’m a slow learner. She and I had a good laugh yesterday as we compared notes and listened to some actors portray different behavioral styles. Like many successful marriages, we are often exact opposites learning to cope and adjust.
Not long ago I wrote, “Go Ahead and Stereotype People
” as it relates to culture and learning about their differences. Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs shows that at many levels, all people are the same, not different. We all need some basics—want to feel loved, belong to groups, have self-esteem, be esteemed, and accomplish the best we can be. Understanding differences is what many people try to do as they stereotype the age groups of different people, putting them into boxes of traditionalist, baby boomer, millenial, Gen X, and Gen Z. The same is true when they start labelling themselves or you with their 4-letter Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (I’m sort of ISTJ/INTJ/ISTP/INTP).
To cultivate your business culture and form a great team, you need to understand and adapt to the differences of everyone. I recently completed training in the DISC behavioral styles. It focuses on observable behaviors, which helps to identify how to adapt your own behavior to “treat others the way they want to be treated.” It’s certainly not the only personality profile. I’ve recently taken ones that franchise companies demand. Here are some to consider.
- DISC Profile
- Myers Briggs Type Indicator
- Social Styles
- Wilson Learning
- Personal Franchise Assessment
- Strength Finders
- Profiles Performance Indicator
- Predictive Index
- Birkman First Look®
- Influence Ecology
- Competing Values Framework
Don’t get hung up on one is “so much better” than another. Some are focused on identify good sales people, while others are focused on franchise owners that can follow a system. Some help identify if you have the guts and stamina to be an entrepreneur that doesn’t follow rules. Every one of them has some value. Use them to help understand yourself and others. Then you will be better prepared to blend making yourself and others feel good from interactions with others.
If you want a high performing team, you need to understand the strengths, weaknesses, commonalities and differences of everyone. A high performing teams starts by forming, then often does some storming, before norming, and getting to performing. There are actually a lot of “I’s” in a team even though the phrase is there is no “I” in team. Consider that with a TEAM, Together Everything is Alway Manageable.
All flowers are the same at some level, needing sun, water, air, and soil. Yet they are all different and we celebrate the beautiful differences. A rose by any other name, would smell as sweet. A single rose is beautiful, as is a rose bed of many flowers.
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